Cafe Greco

Overall score: 71/100 

Restaurant:
Website

It's been a while now since The Chameleon put on his "now I'm a food critic" hat and the number of restaurants he has cast his eyes over in this role is growing by the day. It was no surprise then that an uneasy tenseness enveloped The Chameleon as he walked through the doors of Cafe Greco on Chapel Street in South Yarra.

THE EXPERIENCE

The feeling came from the basic of basics; lighting. This particular diner was enveloped in a weird, soft but bright, dull but vibrant, interesting but uneasy, glow. The Chameleon can only describe it as "not right". It was bright, The Chameleon will concede. Bright to such a level that an absence of mood became apparent. BUT, at the same time, this absence of mood did just that....it created mood. Very difficult to explain, but perhaps more importantly, very difficult to not notice during the meal. The feeling of unease did subside throughout the evening and that is exactly why the experience of this long and narrow restaurant is difficult to summarise. 

The staff were friendly and accommodating, a little bit clumsy with describing menu items, but again, nothing out of the mundane for what seems to be atypical service across most of Australia. But yes, smiling, friendly and doing their best.  

THE FOOD

Entrees  were of a high standard; the Chameleon is noticing that most restaurants are seemingly getting this part of their meals right and so it was with Greco. A highlight here was definitely the garlic bread, one of the best he has ever eaten.  

On The Chameleon's main dish plate, the risotto presented before him was actually of quite a high standard. This one was chunky, but in a good way, great balance of flavours and presented nicely. The finite balance between oily and creamy was achieved, the serving size was spot on. The Chameleon was finally happy after a bit of a wait (close to three weeks) for a decent main dish for dinner. 

The Chameleon was also able to sample one other dish; a lasagna. The easiest way to describe this disaster of a meal is for him to think of a "Black and Gold" lasagna. Go on, go and buy yourself one of these low cost frozen meals, whack it in the microwave and see what Cafe Greco serves up. It did present well and was of course thicker than that piece of frozen mundaneness, but the cheese and the textures were replicated here. Very much a disappointment. So it was lucky that, this time, a restaurant got it right on The Chameleon's plate.   

The prices were on the steeper side but not too drastic and The Chameleon would happily pay for the delicious garlic bread and risotto again next time he is in Melbourne. Can he look past the lighting? That's a separate proposition.
    

OVERALL

Cafe Greco did well overall. OK, the mood was unique, perhaps not to some people's liking, but others may enjoy the experience. The food overall, quite acceptable. The summary question is; would The Chameleon visit again? Hmmm....yes. 71/100   

Burger Edge - St. Kilda Rd. (afternoon tea)

Overall score: 57/100 

Restaurant:
Facebook
Website

Burgers are a staple these days for The Chameleon, especially for lunch; whenever he has a break, almost magically, a burger joint suddenly appears from nowhere. And this is exactly what happened with Burger Edge, a 'whole in the wall' like burger shop on St Kilda Road; strategically placed for the Chameleon and his mates to stop for a quick bite. It didn't turn out to be such a bad choice.   

THE EXPERIENCE

Upon reaching the counter, The Chameleon had a very uncomfortable experience ordering his burger; the counter staff made him very confused with a myriad of options. He thought that by choosing a burger type from the well presented menu would be the end of it, but then there was additional questions (one at a time) of cheeses, sauces, buns, etc. etc....the Chameleon just wanted a burger, not 'Subway like' decision making. The shop presents as a buy and go, but it felt like minute after minute of answering one question after another to end up with a designer burger. The seating ended up under an umbrella which was not large enough to cover all of the group, but it was the only option after the minimal seating inside/attached was occupied.

THE FOOD

The burgers, having arrived in decent packaging and presenting quite well, were large. The Chameleon had "The Okker". It was definitely enough to fill The Chameleon to the brim, the flavours were OK, but not quite memorable. The Chameleon has had larger burgers, more tasty burgers, more 'complete' burgers, but while it was evident that Burger Edge creates a premium product, the flavours were not exactly unique or interesting enough to draw The Chameleon back. The prices were however reasonable.    

OVERALL

I'm not sure if the gentleman behind the counter was having a bad day or if this is the usual service model Burger Edge will consistently push; if it is, there will be a continual stream of confused and (perhaps) slightly frustrated customers who just want a burger, not a questionnaire to pass an exam or somefink. 57/100   

Bistro Gitan

Overall score: 85/100

Restaurant:

Facebook

Website

Oh Melbourne, how cultured, how divinely old and new, how wonderfully diverse is her weather. The Chameleon recently enjoyed another trip to this wonderful city that is the mecca of multiculturalism in Australia and so it was that the visit to this French inspired restaurant on Toorak Road reflected much of what this wonderfully contradictory city is all about.    

THE EXPERIENCE

Bistro Gitan was (literally) only  a stone throw from where The Chameleon was staying on this particular trip (if you throw the stone that is a little bit round and it rolls along a little, perhaps helped by some moisture on the footpath, and a good arm, but I digress) and having walked past it a couple of times on previous evenings, a peek through the windows was all that was needed to lure this little critter in for a visit.   

The Chameleon was very, very glad he did, as Gitan excelled when it came to the atmosphere and, perhaps more importantly, created the type of mood that fits it's Melbourne location down to a tee; urban cool, old and new, simply brilliant. Any new restaurant looking to create that 'just right' ambiance should look no further than a visit to Bistro Gitan; wonderful use of textures and layout, mixed dining options (bar style/formal seating/group seating/casual/romantic are all options) and the lighting....oh the lighting was exquisite. How can lighting be exquisite The Chameleon hears you ask? Well, Gitan had successfully created an intimate, yet lively and adventurous mood by setting the brightness low, but with intense highlights and focal points with the employment of interesting lighting. In the past, The Chameleon has raved about the wonderful atmosphere created at Brisbane's Verve Restaurant Bar Cider House but Gitan has easily overshadowed that wonderful offering. Add to this the clever rich display of wine, artifacts, a creative bar, open see-through kitchen and music that worked a treat and you get one of the best ambiances you will find anywhere in Australia. It was no surprise that The Chameleon's group had a wonderful evening. 

As The Chameleon's party walked through the door, the host/owner welcomed them in with a cheeky smile, and, without appearing desperate nor pretentious (but just letting  the group know that he is doing us a small favour of some sort), he found us a table. The service continued to be quite acceptable throughout the night.

THE FOOD

On this particular evening, the Chameleon was able to run his long sleek tongue across an escargot entree, two different types of steak (one a special, the other off the menu), as well as some delectable red wine that the Chameleon tried to match to the steak.

The escargot (read: snails) was good. The unique texture, which in this case resonated as a somewhat unusual mixture of thick snot, loose overcooked tripe and melted duck lard, was quite pleasant. The flavour from the accompanying sauce was overly buttery, and the escargot only just emerged on the palate; but it worked. So a decent start to the evening. 

The mains were steak; Gitan did not get this right. The Chameleon's specials menu steak came out overcooked, definitely not medium rare. The texture too was overly dry and the flavour, passable if you were sitting in a pub. That's a bit harsh to be honest, but The Chameleon expected much higher considering the prices that were paid. The side of spinach that was ordered never really got past bland. It was...spinach; and nothing else, which came as a surprise since the robust full flavours of any steak will hide untouched spinach every time. A little garlic, some chilli perhaps, just SOMETHING to give it an edge  of flavour, but nothing emerged. Unhappy Chameleon. 

In stark contrast, the menu steak was absolutely spot on. Cooked as per ordered, it left The Chameleon yearning for someone else's meal. The meat was soft, flavoursome and looked outstanding on the plate. It didn't cost much more than the special and was by far the better choice. 

So there was some inconsistency and, for the price the group ended up paying, this is reflected in the overall score. 

A word on the drinks. Bistro Gitan is very much on the expensive side. You pay top dollar for beer. You pay top dollar for wine. The Chameleon paid top dollar for both. There are no cheap alternate offerings, no 'house wine' to quench your thirst. So expect to pay $40+ upward for a basic bottle of red. The French dry chosen by The Chameleon was a very unusual spicy merlot/shiraz style, not a bad drop, but there are better sub-$20 Aussie reds that you can pick up at a bottle-o. If you are interested, there is a very good selection of premiums, reaching over $500 per bottle, which The Chameleon can not comment on for various obvious reasons.

    

OVERALL

Wow, what a glorious bistro! Highly impressive atmosphere/setup, in fact, would visit again for this singular fact alone, but there were some deficiencies in The Chameleon's meal. Getting it right on one plate is fine, but to appease this reptile, it must count on his plate. Pricey for food, a bargain for the atmosphere. 85/100