Burger Edge - St. Kilda Rd. (afternoon tea)

Overall score: 57/100 

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Burgers are a staple these days for The Chameleon, especially for lunch; whenever he has a break, almost magically, a burger joint suddenly appears from nowhere. And this is exactly what happened with Burger Edge, a 'whole in the wall' like burger shop on St Kilda Road; strategically placed for the Chameleon and his mates to stop for a quick bite. It didn't turn out to be such a bad choice.   

THE EXPERIENCE

Upon reaching the counter, The Chameleon had a very uncomfortable experience ordering his burger; the counter staff made him very confused with a myriad of options. He thought that by choosing a burger type from the well presented menu would be the end of it, but then there was additional questions (one at a time) of cheeses, sauces, buns, etc. etc....the Chameleon just wanted a burger, not 'Subway like' decision making. The shop presents as a buy and go, but it felt like minute after minute of answering one question after another to end up with a designer burger. The seating ended up under an umbrella which was not large enough to cover all of the group, but it was the only option after the minimal seating inside/attached was occupied.

THE FOOD

The burgers, having arrived in decent packaging and presenting quite well, were large. The Chameleon had "The Okker". It was definitely enough to fill The Chameleon to the brim, the flavours were OK, but not quite memorable. The Chameleon has had larger burgers, more tasty burgers, more 'complete' burgers, but while it was evident that Burger Edge creates a premium product, the flavours were not exactly unique or interesting enough to draw The Chameleon back. The prices were however reasonable.    

OVERALL

I'm not sure if the gentleman behind the counter was having a bad day or if this is the usual service model Burger Edge will consistently push; if it is, there will be a continual stream of confused and (perhaps) slightly frustrated customers who just want a burger, not a questionnaire to pass an exam or somefink. 57/100   

Hog's Breath Cafe Toowoomba (Lunch)

Overall score: 66/100 

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Just by a happy coincidence, a very hungry Chameleon had a chance to revisit Hog's Breath Cafe in Toowoomba for the third time in his slippery slimy little life. It was lunch time, it wasn't The Chameleon's choice, but being in a group and having his meal shouted for him, The Chameleon happily crawled along to this very well known franchise at the end of Russell Street, not far from the Toowoomba CBD. In fact, it's really walking distance from Ruthven, but the location (again) is away from any 'dining precincts' as such, and The Chameleon is beginning to wonder if such a place even exists in Toowoomba.

THE EXPERIENCE

Hog's Breath Cafe is a very popular restaurant. Let's face it, if you get your meal within the hour, you are probably doing well and in Toowoomba, the last two visits by the Chameleon resulted in lengthy waiting times. This time however, considering the size of the group that the Chameleon was with, the service was brilliant. Usually, drinks are well and truly finished before the food makes it onto the table, but upon arrival, the group entrees were ALREADY on the table. "Boss Hog Mushies" and garlic and herb bread greeted the, "we'll eat a horse each" crowd. They were OK, not bad for appetizers  although, as tasty as the mushrooms were (and deep fried 'just right'), they were a bit cold when The Chameleon was able to sample them. The mains were delivered well within what The Chameleon deems acceptable, especially for a large group as this one was.

The setting was as you would expect from Hog's Breath; raw, nostalgic, but tough and ready for whatever crowd were to visit. The furniture is rugged and the effort to mirror it's corporate image of a 'steakhouse for a football team' works in it's favour. In fact, The Chameleon could almost smell the various spilled beverages (of which 95% would of course be beer) from the previous night's festivities. The reality is, this is what you should expect here and, delightfully in some sense, it is what you get.     


THE FOOD
The Chameleon chose the aptly named "Serious Steak Burger". Although at the time he did not know it, it was to be the most expensive burger he had ever eaten at $19.95. Framed by this thought during this reflection, The Chameleon can not but wonder how this burger ended up this expensive. Yes, it came with the very delicious curly fries (and they were very good indeed) and yes, the burger itself tasted awesome and even the chilli edge was spot on, but $19.95? Similar burgers can be had in most take-aways for $8-$12 and you could charge maybe $3 for the fries, so this means, really $11-$15 would of made sense. Hog's Breath would of course say "oh yes, but our burgers have double steak and double cheese". Unfortunately, the 'steak' was two thinly sliced pieces (very much tasty), instead of the 'piece of thick juicy tender steak' as one would imagine in a burger of this charge, and to be honest, who actually wants/notices double cheese on such a burger? Overall, The Chameleon was quite satisfied with the burger and it had that wonderfully grilled onion edge that is the signature of Hog's Breath, but would he spend the money again on the Seriously Expensive Steak Burger? Probably not, as a short walk and $11 get's you a much larger and much more unique burger at Phat Burgers. 
  
OVERALL

Hog's Breath Toowoomba stays true to the franchise niche and delivered positively on much of the experience, including excellent customer service this time around. The food was OK, but the prices are on the steep side for what is basically an upmarket raw-edged premium McDonald's when it comes to their burgers.
The Chameleon is mindful that in the past, a visit to a Hog's Breath in Brisbane delivered one of the finest steaks he had ever sampled, and that must be kept in mind when looking at this overall score, as the burgers probably do not truly reflect the quality that Hog's Breath is capable of on a good day. 66/100  
      

Phat Burgers

Overall score: 83/100

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The Chameleon will admit that he frequents quite a few 'restaurants'. You know the ones, they start with Mc... and Kent... and Hung...  The Chameleon is not even afraid of admitting that he enjoys some of their fare.

It was with delight then when travelling through the main street of Toowoomba that he came upon a burger joint, one that was proud to call itself a burger joint. A burger joint that wasn't afraid to have some 'attitude' and an approach to burgers totally different from the usual fare provided by those other places. Phat Burgers was a welcome change for The Chameleon.

THE EXPERIENCE

A while ago, The Chameleon had one aim, and one aim only; to find cheap and cheerful food, where ever he traveled. In fact, this became such an unhealthy obsession that one day, he woke up and found himself visiting only 'those' take away outlets and nowhere else. This frightened The Chameleon, so much so, that he wowed to himself never to really look at the price of food again. Lucky then that this change in his philosophy occurred before his visit to Phat Burgers, as in his prior life, he never would have even dreamed of paying more than $10 for a burger alone.

As he entered the establishment, The Chameleon instantly felt relaxed. He's not sure if it was due to the relaxing feel all that timber gave the room, or the bar like atmosphere and lighting, or even if it was the vast menu blackboard that had an air of casualness. There weren't many patrons for late lunch and The Chameleon found himself waiting for his burger patiently accompanied by the daily paper which was on offer along with what looked like 100s of pieces of literature to keep you amused.  

He ordered a 'Van Helsing' since the word 'horseradish' caught his attention (horseradish in a take away burger, it couldn't be) and took a seat in one of the darker booths, away from the stylish but glaring orange seats, or the bar seating which was available also. What he really appreciated was that there was at least choice as to the type of dining you were into. The wait for the burger was quite long; there was even an apology when it was bought to the table which made it a little more bearable for The Chameleon.     

THE FOOD

When the bruger did eventually arrive, he was very surprised; it was plainly wrapped in the usual white paper, as you would get in any other take away joint. No plate. No fancy wrapping. No fanfare what so ever. Disgruntilingly (is that a word?), he proceeded to unwrap the package, wondering how he came to pay over $11 for a burger which was delivered in packaging the next level up from newspaper.  

The Chameleon was in for a shock. The burger was MASSIVE! I'll write that again just in case you missed it the first time; MASSIVE! Suddenly it dawned on him why there was no plate and why Phat Burgers needn't worry about packaging. 

As The Chameleon stared at The Van Helsing, staring at him, daring to take a bite, he realised that this sort of a burger deserves his money. The price, retrospectively, was cheap for what you got. The burger was kind of hard to handle, but tasted delicious and left him feeling like a pig in mud once he had finished this monster. The relish, horseradish and caramelised onion dominated the flavours, but somehow it worked; the 'balance' that The Chameleon looks for in a burger was very evident here. 

OVERALL

Phat Burgers produces exactly that, phat premium burgers in every sense of the word. The place is inviting, the burgers are huge and crafted with care and really, $11 is very justifiable for a burger as good as the Van Helsing. 83/100