Julie's at the Rectory

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Score: 83/100 

The little villages which dot the backroads around Brisbane are really a bit of motorcycling heaven; from the iconic (and somewhat dangerous) Mount Glorious, through north to Samford and south to Advancetown, the twisty bitumen is very much like a religion, with many followers dutifully descending upon them for an alternate Sunday service. But sooner or later even these road warriors need a rest and Esk affords such an opportunity, especially for those wanting to venture around Somerset Dam, or to make their day longer with a trek up to Maleny. 
   Julie's at Rectory is one common stop in Esk and first impressions hinted at an intimate home-cooked meal ahead. The Queenslander-style guest-house has been converted to a lunch joint and to eat here you have to negotiate a small labyrinth to find the front counter; funnily enough this added to the charm of the place. 
   The menu, or should I say, menus, were a bit of a stumbling block. There was simply too much choice, too many places to look to make a decision. Prices were a touch on the expensive side, but not too silly. I was after a light lunch on this particular day so I opted for a salmon salad; look up 'light lunch' in the dictionary and you will probably see a large white plate with thick edges surrounding a Jackson Pollock inspired beautiful mess of cos lettuce, rocket, salmon and croutons. And at Julie's this is exactly what you get.

   Ordering was pain-free and the waitress, who seemed to be in a slight bit of a rush, was smiling and pleasant. I took my seat, but I wasn't there for long, as I wanted to have a wonder around this old house, see if I could extract a bit of that yesteryear character. One room notably was set up as a kids play room which was a nice touch. Timber EVERYWHERE, and a very relaxed vibe soothed from the walls. You could even eat out the back away from the weekend traffic of the Valley Highway if that was your will. I didn't however have a lot of time to play hide and seek, my coffee was promptly served within a few minutes and not long after the salad arrived; very efficient service and the obvious by-product of having enough staff on to cater for the warriors. 
   I'll go as far as saying the service was outstanding; friendly, prompt, checking in on me, everything you expect in a fine dining restaurant, right there in Esk.

   The salad was fresh and the green part balanced out the salmon perfectly. The rocket was delicious and I can't remember the last time I enjoyed rocket that much in a salad. It had that distinct rocket peppery edge, but was never overpowering, even when the mouthful was dominated by green. The coffee too was gorgeous; a lunch time cap with the right amount of pep.

   Overall, I was very pleased with this little place on the edge of town. Friendly, inviting, glimpses of history and apart from the puzzle that was the lunchtime multiple menus, I would gladly visit Julie's again and next time I'm in town, I think I might do just that. 83/100  

Firefly Cafe (Lunch)

Overall score: 83/100

Restaurant:
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Urbanised, industrial, arty, hipster-y; everything a pretentious cafe should be and, in our capital cities at least, this is exactly what you get. But not in Toowoomba. No, in Toowoomba you get basic, utilitarian, uninspiring, dated; until you visit Firefly.
   Located smack bang in the middle of the CBD, Firefly hides under an unnasumming, simple facade, and really the front of the shop is small and one could quite easily miss it. As The Chameleon entered this ostensible, albeit almost miss-placed for Toowoomba, cafe, his memories took him back to a place not so long ago down in old Melbourne town, a cafe just like this; warm, with a kitch twist like a cafe should. 
   The decor here was well composed with French inspired chairs and wicked rustic tables. The walls adorned with what appeared like a nice batch of modern art and the colour scheme worked a treat. As The Chameleon approached the counter, a puzzling experience enveloped; there was no menu on the wall! Not even for the coffee! Intriguing start. Was this a part of the pretentiousness? Perhaps. 
   Anyway, he asked the lovely waitress whether they were doing lunch and she promptly handed him a very uninspiring menu. Now, keeping in mind that this was lunch, and that Toowoomba has many many offerings of sub $10 lunches (i.e. the outstanding Phat Burgers just up the road) the menu read very high brow, some interesting offerings. The Chameleon however wanted some meat; it's what he had been consuming for lunch for quite some time, however Firefly is not the place to go if you are after a large, filling, protein based meal. And rightly it shouldn't be, after all, it is a cafe, not Hogs Breath Cafe. So summing up his options, of which there weren't many by the way, he ended up pointing to the "Roast sweet potato w pork belly & sugarloaf slaw" and hoped for the best. He also of course ordered a cap. 
   The staff were very friendly. Urbanspoon reviewers, some of them anyway, have complained of the lacklustre service, the lack of smiles, making it sound all a bit Twilight. But this was not The Chameleon's experience; chirpy, friendly, warm staff, even asking how my meal was, and to top it all off, going to the extra effort of saying goodbye as he left, even though they were busy. 
   First the coffee. It was nice, quite tasty and very acceptable for a lunchtime pick-me-up. There was an added little touch that really impressed The Chameleon. Next to his cappuccino was a beautiful little heirloom teaspoon, all the way from France. Oh how this delighted him, to see just a little glimpse of style and international thought in this regional city. 
   The main was outstanding. Well, it was rather sweet and the jus was very sweet indeed, but geez that pork belly was cooked to perfection. And the sweet potato was great too, the whole meal worked together like an orchestra performing at it's peak. Great work  Firefly. 
   Firefly Cafe is perhaps the only 'real' cafe in Toowoomba. The air of elegance, of art and style, Firefly delivers an ultra-urban high-brow ambience which would see it fit into any of Australia's major cities, if not internationally. As The Chameleon gazed into busy Ruthven Street, shoppers impatiently running past from shop to shop, he could have been sitting anywhere from Rome, to London, to Copenhagen. A few Hiluxes and Navaras quickly bought him back to reality, but alas, Firefly created the desired mood. 
   The food was great, but a lack of options hindered. Should there be more options is perhaps a more pertinent question to ask, as this was a cafe after all. The menu presentation too needed some more thought, but perhaps the pretentiousness that one desires from a cafe has to surface somewhere. 
   The Chameleon thinks they might be going for the "have your coffee and leave" angle, but "if you are going to eat, then we will get that right". Not a bad effort Firefly. 83/100    

Blue Edge Bakery (breakfast)

Overall score: 59/100 

Restaurant:

Breaking the gastronomical drought in the mornings is one of life's simple pleasures; whether it's a piece of toast with coffee or a full blown all day brekkie,  you want to get it as right as possible. A bakery for instance, should allow you to do this, but on this particularly wonderful morning, The Chameleon was met with a slight drizzle of rain, rather than a full tzunami which he was expecting. 

THE EXPERIENCE

Blue Edge Bakery is smack bang in the middle of Bicheno, a small sleepy 'weekend holiday' town on the east coast of that wonderful state, Tasmania. It presents very well, welcoming, clean and neat, well spaced out, although a distinct lack of seating. This is a small hindrance to the experience, as bakeries are not typically eat-in places, but in Bicheno, it was virtually the only place open. 

The staff were friendly overall; there was a slight feeling of "let's get this order over and done with" but on this busy morning, it was understandable. And busy they were. During The Chameleon's time there, what seemed like at least a hundred people filed in and out, some staying for a meal, some picking up bread; the atmosphere on this morning was one of pleasant rush. 

THE FOOD

The Chameleon ordered one of the breakfast based menu items, the name escapes him. After a somewhat longish wait (although bearable), a well presented plate arrived. This initially pleased The Chameleon; a lot of bakeries simple throw food at the plate, but here, it presented nicely. 

The taste that followed was unfortunately unpleasant. Again, spinach, which The Chameleon loves soooo much, had absolutely no flavour! This is not the first time this has happened; spinach NEEDS something else. It needs an edge to match that wonderful wilted texture. Alas, not today.

The mushrooms too, looked great. As The Chameleon brought it up to his mouth and began to chew, an unpleasant sliminess emerged. It was rather strange; it wasn't entirely from the mushrooms; it came in the form of a lemon dressing which made the acidity over-bearing to the point that I wanted to call out the owner, but, The Chameleon does not complain (until the review of course). The whole meal in-fact was very soggy, including the cardinal sin of placing the toast in a way that it pre-soaked into a gooey mess. LEss than happy Chameleon. 

The highlight at The Chameleon's table was a sausage roll. It was a stock standard bakery style, there were the usual hints of seasoning that made it stand out from your typical take away offering. It was well executed and a total contrast to the main meal. 

Finally, the coffee was passable, but by no means outstanding. The cost was slightly on the expensive side for a bakery and, considering The Chameleon's plate, there was no congruence between the quality and the prices.

    

OVERALL

Blue Edge Bakery is exactly that; a bakery. The attempt at making a cafe style breakfast backfired on this occasion. Stick to what you know best Blue Edge: pastry. 59/100   

Milano (breakfast)

Overall score: 49/100 
Restaurant:

Once in a while The Chameleon is spoiled for choice and on this particular morning in Brisbane's CBD, he was lurking to try to find a place with a decent coffee and a hearty breakfast to fuel his day. After seeking the advice of urbanspoon, and coming up short on a few venues, time was getting to be an issue so he sat down at Milano, right in Queens Street Mall. Having only ever eaten once in the Mall, he thought it may be time to 'risk' the experience again and, not heeding the advice of the lowly 53% like rating on urbanspoon, he asked for a seat.       

THE EXPERIENCE

Of course the location is top notch, that is why it was initially chosen. Queen Street Mall is centrally positioned, handy to everything and smack bang right there, a bar-like semi-open eatery with stool type seating, as well as proper swanky tables. At first all was well. Initial impressions were very good, the place was neat, the Mall was relatively empty and the staff were somewhat helpful. Showing The Chameleon to one of the stool-seat tables was however, the start of a downward spiral that indeed confirmed Milano's low urbanspoon score was deserved. 

The waitress could have offered either type of seating; it doesn't take much to ensure the customer is happy, but alas, The Chameleon was directed to a high chair. She must have been having a miserable day as, although smiling on a few occasions, like when The Chameleon paid his bill, she moped around the entire time with such a distasteful look on her face, The Chameleon was definitely put off, though, as is usual, he was able to disguise his true feelings and weathered the negative charade. 

It is often the small things such as this that can turn a meal and The Chameleon hopes that the owner of Milano isn't stuck for waitress choice, because this girl definitely had to go. She rushed about like the world was on fire totally unnecessarily and, as should be the norm in the competitive dining of the CBD, never asked how his meal was. Small things Milano.

THE FOOD
Milano does itself very little favours with its food. Admittedly, the presentation was quite nice, the rectangular plate presented well and apart from hiding one of the pieces of bread under almost all of the other ingredients, The Chameleon was ready to dive in; it looked quite appetising.

From the first bite, the issues began. The bread was, unfortunately very hard. Typically this is not a problem IF there is something to soak up, but to digest two large thick pieces of fancy toast made the Chameleon feel like this meal was going to be a chore. Thankfully, the second 'hidden' piece did absorb some of the moisture from the mushrooms, so about one quarter of it was at least digestible towards the end. The mushrooms were also passable. Everything else on the plate was unfortunately a disappointment. The eggs came out with an inconsistent texture; some parts were great, but overall it was a bit mish-mash. The tomato was a tomato, the bacon underdone. But the worst part of the meal was the coffee. Now, The Chameleon doesn't pretend to be a coffee expert, in fact he can't really tell the difference between milk first then water and the other way around. He drinks it with sugar; and lots of it. But even he can tell when a coffee tastes watered down. This is a significant mistake for a breakfast; a coffee served in the morning should be robust and sharp, you know, give you a kick. The coffee at Milano's may have flied as a soft afternoon cuppa, but not in the morning. 

To round out the experience nicely, when presented with the bill, The Chameleon noticed it was a $20 breakfast! Sure, the location may warrant a larger increase, but to put it on the specials board (without the cost) and then charge $20 was very rude. $15 would have been pushing it and realistically, considering the quality, it was a $13 meal.           

OVERALL

CBD dining can be a bit hit and miss and unfortunately Milano is a miss, by quite a margin. The combination of poor coffee, inconsistent food and a waitress on speed who woke up on the wrong side of the bed (but managed to smile now and again) added up to a breakfast The Chameleon will only remember to try to forget. 49/100